44 Days Out

Had to do my last blog post of 2009. I am still in Maryland with Loraine and the girls until Sunday night. We are driving back to GA through the night so the girls can sleep and we don't have to stop and get food every two hours. Tomorrow night Loraine and I are going to Big Bucks Bingo in Martinsburg, WV. Its a huge bingo hall, its like a bingo emporium. My only concern about going to the bingo hall is eating. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I have to plan out all my meals, and they all have to be high protein, low fat and low carb. I can't eat the snack-bar type foods they serve at the bingo hall. The time we will be at the bingo hall is when I am supposed to eat two meals. I guess I will bring a ready made protein shake and some string cheese and if they question me for bringing in outside food I will just some them my medic alert bracelet and hope that works.

When I was doing my cardio at the gym today I noticed its starting to get easier already. I will have to go up another level so I can maximize my workout. I would love to start lifting weights, but I need the surgeon's approval before starting that. I am six weeks out now so I should be able to start lifting soon. I call the bariactric clinic a few days before Christmas to ask about lifting and the nurse told me I could only lift the 2 pound weights and the 5 pound weights. I used to be a serious weight lifter and the 2 pounder and the 5 pounder would do absolutely nothing for me, but I don't want to get a hernia so I will follow what the surgeon says in regard to real weight lifting.

I have been having cold symptoms and found out gel caps were safe to take. I took some Dayquil and after a few minutes I was in pain. It felt like the gel caps were stuck, and it hurt. After a half hour the pain stop and I starting feeling relief from my cold. Now I have to decide if the half hour of pain is worth getting relief from my cold.

2009 was a good year, but I think 2010 has the potential to be a better year. When 2010 is almost over my husband Joel will be coming home from Iraq. I wonder what things will be like when he returns. When he returned home from his last deployment it was like a honeymoon phase. A year is a long time to be away from the person you love. I can't help but to wonder what I will look like when he returns. I know one thing, I will not be the fat frumpy wife I was when he left.

41 Days Out

We had a nice Christmas and the girls enjoyed their presents. After talking to my mom on the phone and hearing how much she missed the girls, me and Loraine decided to be spontaneous and drive up to Maryland that night to visit after our Christmas chili. Its a 10 hour drive without stops so it ended up taking 12 hours. Loraine is really good at night driving and I am not ,so she ended up doing all the driving. Since we have been here Laci has been an angel,whereas she has been a little hellian at home. I guess even 3 year olds need a vacation.

I've been having a little trouble getting all my protein in here at my parent's house. I went shopping for a few groceries and was amazed at how much more groceries cost here. I had to do cheese a lot for meals. I'm happy to get away from GA for a week, but I miss my kitchen and my WLS friendly foods I am stocked with. There is a small Army post nearby so I have been able to go there for my 5 required work-outs a week. Me and Loraine are hitting the town tomorrow while my mom watches the girls so I know at one point we will have to stop at Taco Bell for pintos and cheese or Wendy's for chili so I can eat something. Right now being a little over a month out I really have to plan out my meals and what I'm going to eat and at what time. It won't always be like this, but right now it can be a little challenging. I'm feeling a lot better than I did a few weeks ago, but that could also be from drinking a daily CLICK double espresso protein drink.

Overall we are having a fun time here in Maryland, we will be here until Sunday night. Me and Loraine start full-time school on Jan 6th so we have to get back in time to get ready for it. I have been out of school for so long I'm a little worried about how I will do. I bought some ready made protein shakes for the ride home back to GA since its really hard to find WLS friendly foods and snacks at gas stations.

36 Days Out

My stall finally broke and I lost 4 more pounds, so far in my journey I have lost 37 pounds. Today was my forth time going to the gym since I became four week out from surgery, four weeks out is when my surgeon lets his patients go to the gym. It feels good to work out. I used to be a gym rat so the gym is a familiar setting to me. Maybe going to the gym contributed to my stall breaking.

Today I finally got my CLICK espresso protein powder that I ordered a week ago. All the reviews were right, its great. I mixed it using the cold directions and it tastes just like an iced coffee. I let Loraine try it and she agreed and really liked it as well. It can always be made hot but I haven't tried it hot yet. It has a strong coffee taste and not a nasty protein powder aftertaste. It also has two shots of espresso per serving, I felt wired for awhile since I haven't had caffeine in two months, but it didn't last long. Before surgery I have been drinking diet soda since I was 2 years old, and before going on the 2 week pre-op liquid diet I was up to 8 diet sodas a day, so I have a strong tolerance for caffeine. I have been miserable without caffeine for so long and after drinking my CLICK iced coffee today I felt like myself again, I felt alert and I wasn't dragging ass the rest of the day. I have to keep it to one serving a day, since I am not supposed to consume a lot of caffeine, but at least I have my morning coffee now to keep me going.

34 Days Out

I'm now 34 days out from surgery. I have been on soft food for about 2 weeks. It was a much welcomed change after being on liquids only for a month. I had to do an all liquid diet for 2 weeks before surgery with an intact stomach, and for 2 weeks after the surgery with a cut and sewn stomach. It was much easier once my stomach was cut and sewn. On the soft food diet the food can be a little bland at times but it much better than all liquid. The hard part for me right now is I really miss starchy carbs. My meals consist of 2 oz of protein and 1 oz of a fruit or vegetable from a list my nutritionist gave me. This means no potatoes (duh), no bananas, no apples yet, no strawberries yet, and most of my other favorite fruits are on the not yet list.

Getting enough protein everyday is hard, I have to plan out my meals and what I'm going to eat for the day. 2 oz isn't much so I have to pick protein foods from the nutritionist's list that have a lot of protein in them. Some of my protein staples have been eggs, cottage cheese, refried beans, string cheese, and well cooked home made chili. Fortunately I do get full on a meal, sometime I get full on just the protein and I don't get to the fruit or vegetable, but my surgeon and nutritionist tell me to get my protein in first and not to worry if I'm too full for the side item.

Joel is deployed right now so its just me, Loraine, and the girls. Me and Loraine are making chili for Christmas dinner so we can eat together. She'll be able to eat cookies and treats and I'll just have to watch her, but its ok, I think I have eaten enough cookies in my life thus far. When I get further out I will be able to eat a wider variety of foods and even sugar free desserts. Overall I am feeling pretty good right now, just missing my Joel so much.

An Intro

I'm Jillian, I wanted to start this blog for those who are interested in my journey to get an inside perspective. I choose not to post many updates about my journey on facebook or myspace because I know not everyone supports Weight Loss Surgery(WLS). I had gastric bypass on November 17, 2009. One HUGE misconception about WLS is that it is "The easy way out". I am only a month out right now,and so far this is the hardest thing I have ever done,there is nothing easy about it. Going to Army Basic training and AIT was easier than this. It wasn't always like this, and I haven't always been morbidly obese, but I have always struggled with weight. Let me give you a little history.

Yes, I was the fat kid going through elementary and middle school in Macon, GA. The first time I was ever called a fat name was in kindergarten. When I was 10 I weighed 180 pounds, and I was constantly tormented. When I was 13 I tipped the scale at 206 pounds at only 5 foot 2. I started eating better and exercising, and finally hitting my growth spurt and shot up to 5 foot 6. When we moved to San Diego CA that summer I was 150 pounds and 5 foot 6, I was finally normal, and best of all (or so it seemed) I was starting a brand new school where nobody knew I used to be the fat kid. I found my athletic side, I was always playing sports and running long distances. Although I was so active I still struggled with my weight,I fought hard to stay in the 150's and if I didn't run everyday I would find myself in the 160's. My metabolism was so slow, even my mom realized it and was constantly taking me to the doctor to get my thyroid checked. I graduated high school in 2001 with no honor and no plans for the future, I was just thrilled to have graduated.

That summer I worked at a fitness center call Curves for Women. It was a dead end job that I hated. Then September 11th happened. After that I felt it was my duty as a young 18 year old American to serve in the Military, that next week I enlisted in the Army and left for Basic Training the following November. I was barley under the maximum weight requirement for my height joining the Army so this worried me about the future. Basic Training was easy, AIT was harder. After that I went to my first (and only) duty station Fort Riley in Kansas. I had gained 30 pounds in Basic and AIT, so I was already off to a bad start at my new duty station. Now that I was allowed to do my own shopping I started eating better and taking advantage of free gym membership. On top of regular morning physical training I was hitting the gym 5 night a week. Nothing happened, my weight stayed exactly the same, I was so frustrated and couldn't figure out what was wrong with my metabolism. I continued this pattern for a whole year, and constantly went to the doctor to get my thyroid checked.

After US troops invaded Iraq and Bush announced "Mission Accomplished" my company was on a plane headed for the Middle East. I decided to take the year in Iraq, along with everything I knew about health and fitness and throw myself into getting within Army weight standards so I could get promoted. So after a year of working out 2-3 times a day,eating no carbs after 12 noon, and spending hundreds of dollars on supplements,I finally lost 25 pounds, and I got promoted. When we arrived home to Fort Riley I tried hard to maintain,but when you have to be at work for 12 hours with no 24 hour gyms its impossible to go to the gym that often, and with no deployment pay I couldn't afford all the supplements. So, for the first time in my life I gave up and let myself go.

I started drinking and going out all the time with my friends. I stopped going to the gym. All I did for exercise was morning PT with my company. For many people in the Army this is enough to fulfill their exercise requirements, but for me it never was. I had wanted so badly to have a successful Army career and I had realized it wasn't going to happen for me. Alcohol filled the void of my disappointment in myself and I became addicted. This is around this time I met Joel, who is now my husband. He was addicted to alcohol too. We always drank together, we spent time together sober as well, but he seemed to be trying to fill a void as well, although he never told me what his void was.All this boozing really put on the pounds and before I knew it I was 200 pounds. I got caught up in an alcohol related incident at the barracks and was forced to go to an alcohol rehabilitation program. The program wasn't enough to stop me, I continued to drink while I was in the program, but I was never caught. A month later after a bad weekend with Joel that I'd rather not remember I decided to take control of my drinking, he started drinking less too and we were able to really build our relationship.

A month after that on September 30, 2005 we were married at Milford Lake, Kansas by an Army Chaplin. Two days later I left for my second tour in Iraq. I was stop lossed and really didn't care about being in the Army anymore so it didn't bother me that I was constantly harassed by my superiors about my weight. I went home to my Joel on midtour leave. When back to Iraq, and found out I had gotten knocked up on midtour. So I was sent home, went to Rear D until stop loss was lifted. Me and pregnancy aren't a good match. I went to pregnancy PT, and me and Joel went for walks a few night a week and I still managed to gain 60 pounds in the pregnancy. Fortunaly I quit drinking no problem the second I found out I was pregnant, I wanted our baby to be healthy and not have to pay for my mistakes,4 months of counceling didn't stop me in the past, but our child did. I had our first Child,Laci Michele, on September 24, 2006, 3 days after Joel left for Iraq. I got home from the hospital and all of a sudden I was morbidly obese. 3 months later December 2006 stop loss was finally lifted and I was honorably discharged from the Army.

I did try to improve my health, I really did. I even bought a $1200 elliptical trainer. My metabolism was even slower now and I didn't know what to do. I was 270 pounds. This was the first time I started doing research on gastric bypass. I didn't pursue it at this time for a few reason.1)Joel was deployed and I stayed home with Laci all day, and even though my best friend Loraine lived with me I had nobody to care for Laci during the day since Loraine worked all day.2) I wanted to be done having all our children before having the surgery.3) This was the most important reason, I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready for the big changes that come with the post-op life.

Joel came home from Iraq and loved me just like he always had, it didn't bother him that I was so heavy,but it bothered me. He stopped drinking in order to be a better husband and father. We moved to Fort Stewart, GA and decided to have our 2nd, and final, child. I gained 30 pounds in this pregnancy and Miley Michele was born April 14, 2009, this time Joel was there for the birth. A week after Miley's birth I found myself at 286 pounds, this is my all time highest weight. I was tired of being morbidly obese, and I didn't want to kill myself just to lose 25 pounds like I did before. I needed a permanent solution to my weight and my metabolism problem.

In July 2009, 3 months after Miley was born, I started researching WLS again, this time with more seriousness. I poured myself into research. In my research I not only found out that gastric bypass would help me shed my excess weight, but it would also restart my metabolism. I found out that I weighed enough for our insurance to cover the surgery with no comorbidities. Since I am young and have always been relatively healthy except for my weight I didn't have any comorbidities.......yet. I felt it was only a matter of time before I started having problem so I started my journey on the path to getting WLS. I got my referral in August, had my consult with my surgeon on September 10th, did all his requirements, and was on his operating room table on November 17th, 2009.