Stuff I used to care so much about, but not so much anymore

When I was riding my bike yesterday I was thinking about this. Stuff I used to care so much about, that gets a "meh" reaction from me nowadays. I have been consistently training and doing triathlons for two years now, and I feel like it was the big puzzle piece missing in my life. Here are some of the thing/topics that came to mind:

Politics-I used to get really fired up about politics, I would research the candidates and learn what I could about them. I just don't care anymore. No matter who is in office, people are unhappy and not much gets done. Stuff pretty much stays the same with a different set of piano teeth telling us they are going to make things better. So now I just say, whatever.

Cars-From the time before I even had my learner's permit I was obsessed with cars. Stacks of car magazine lined my room in my parent's house, and then my barracks room when I was in the Army. I just LOVED cars. Until I had kids, I always had nice cars, tricked out. Joel and I talked about tricking out the "family car" I was driving, but then I had weight loss surgery, which changed my life. I now have a low end Chevy Cruze, no frills, its a car, its good on gas, and that is all I want out of a car nowadays. I accidentally put a big scratch in it a few days ago and just said "oh well".  Before, I probably would have sat on the ground and wept over a scratch in my car.

Motorcycles-I used to be a big fan of sport bikes and longed to have one, for years. Now I have no interest in owning one, especially after living here and seeing the way people drive those things, and end up killing themselves on them.

Bowling-I have always love to participate in sports, even at almost 300 pounds. I was watching ESPN as a morbidly obese woman and saw obese professional pro bowlers. I saw it as a sport I could participate in as an obese person. I bought my own ball and shoes, and hit the allies. I enjoyed having a "sport" again, but I wasn't very good, It would be a big achievement to me to score over 100. I went bowling 2-3 days a week. I just never got the technique down to be a good bowler. Once I could do my current sports, I lost interest in bowling. I still have all my gear, and if someone wants to go bowling I will dust it of and put it to use.

Shooting-Same as bowling, a sport I could do as a heavy person. I couldn't shoot as much as I went bowling though, shooting as a sport is more expensive than triathlon if you can believe it. It is another technique sport, and I was better at shooting than bowling, but I just lost interest.

Rubber Stamping-Rubber stamping is an extension of scrapbooking (which I never got into). Rubber stamping is using rubber stamps, embossing, various cardstock, ribbon, and other craft stuff to make greeting cards. I got really into it the first time Joel was deployed.I have tried to make a few cards here and there over the past 3 years, but I no longer have the patience.

Boozing-I used to drink a lot and considered it a hobby (seriously). If something happened and I wouldn't be able to drink the next weekend I would be highly upset about it. I am proud to say I don't care about drinking anymore. The night after a good race I will have a celebratory Guinness or a Woodchuck Hard Cider, and a margarita when out with my buddies, but that's about it.


In addition to this list, I find that I no longer sweat the small stuff. I used to fret over every little detail. I am now able to go with the flow of life and handle situations much better than I used to. I have also realized that with over 2 years of consistent training and racing, this is the longest I have every committed and actually stuck with something. For this I am proud of myself, and although I may feel burnt out after a hard cycle of training, my passion for this sport never fades.

A Mid-Season Break, and Moving Forward

So I will admit it has taken me longer than usual to get over this Muncie thing. Like I said in my last entry, my total "bum-ness" over the situation is because of the same thing happening at New Orleans. To add salt to the wound, the same people who made the call to cut Muncie short were also making the call for Racine 70.3 the very next weekend, and they allowed that race to go on in its full distance, even though it was hot. Just my luck this year I guess.

The local newspaper did an article about the Fort Stewart Marne Week events. The article says I was given a Certificate of Achievement for participating in the triathlon, sigh, my big achievement once again swept under the rug.

I am moving forward, I have had a few good cries about Muncie, my "A" race that wasn't. I truly cannot emphasize just how hard I trained for that race, which is why I have been so hurt about the race being cut short. Punishing runs in the heat, painful interval sessions on the bike, hours in the pool, and it all feels like it was for nothing. I cannot use the fitness gained from that training block for another race.

Because of the tough training I did to prepare for Muncie, I am currently on a mid-season break. Our tri season here lasts from March to November, so many of us here need a mid-season break. I am still training, but cutting back on volume for 2 weeks. Also focusing on getting plenty of sleep to recover. After the Acworth all women's sprint on August 5th I will start a new training cycle and ramp up for Augusta 70.3. It was supposed to be my third 70.3 this year but it is now my first. Four weeks after that will be the Rev3 Half in Venice Florida, which is in the Sarasota area. The Rev3 Half will be my last tri of the year, will be great to go out with a bang.

Speaking of Augusta 70.3, a few friends and I run an Augusta 70.3 group on Facebook. Click here to join, someone will approve you quickly.

Although it is a sprint, I am really excited about the Acworth all women sprint triathlon. I think most of my excitement stems from the fact that it will be my best friend Loraine's first ever triathlon. Not only first ever triathlon, but her first race. She has not even done a 5k yet. This race gets a big turn out and I love big races. Its a five hour drive for us so we will be leaving the day before the race. I hope Loraine ends up enjoying triathlon.

So moving on, hoping the rest of tri season goes smooth. Encouraging people to get active, and doing everything I can for Team RWB.

If You Find my Mojo, Please Return to it's Owner

So its been 9 days since Muncie 70.3 was supposed to happen. Instead we got a modified olympic. In the 9 days that have followed, I have had a really tough time. I know I would not feel this way had it been the first time, since this also happened at this year's New Orleans 70.3, I feel as if I have lost all my mojo. 2 cycles of tough training to have a good 70.3 race, only to be stuck racing a modified course, has really worn on me.

I am trying so hard to stay positive and look on the bright side, but this is affecting me at the moment. Running I am having a tough time keeping my pace. I am having trouble keeping form in the pool and getting in good quality swim workouts, I am pretty much just going through the motions in the pool. Cycling hasn't been affected, fortunately.

Augusta 70.3 was to be my 3rd "70.3" this year, but now it will be my first. My "year of the half ironman" has pretty much gone to shambles. I was able to get into the new Rev3 Florida on October 28th, so I have a second 70.3 to do this year. It will be 4 weeks after Augusta 70.3, but I think I can manage.

I want to do another half ironman before Augusta, but there is no way it can happen. The closest half ironman races are a 20+ hour drive, and I would have to go by myself, everyone has already taken all their vacation time for my other races.

I trained so hard for New Orleans and Muncie, it just sucks. I am now wishing I would have signed up for another ironman (140.6) this year. Muncie was supposed to be my A race, and it was ruined. I was so upset after New Orleans, and when it would start to wear on me, I would tell myself "just stay strong until Muncie, you will get a real race, just hold on and keep training hard, you'll have a great race at Muncie". That thought got me through tough training through May and June, and then race day came without that real race.

I need a spark to ignite my fire. September 30th seems so far away

Marne Week Triathlon Award

Here is the Certificate of Achievement I got for winning the Marne Week Triathlon. It was essentially a piece of paper, Joel had it made into this gorgeous plaque, what a guy!

Race Report-Muncie 70.3 (37.2)

It has taken me a few days to write this because well, I have just been bummed about it. It was like having deja vu with New Orleans 70.3, I couldn't believe how the events were unfolding. 

Loraine, my best friend and I, left South Georgia Thursday morning around 3 a.m. Almost 16 hours later we made it to Farmland, the town her parents live in, where we would be staying. Farmland is a small town right outside Muncie.

The next day we headed to the convention center for athlete check-in and the pre-race briefing. I had trained hard for this race, lots of runs in the heat, lots of interval sessions on the bike, I was ready to rock the 70.3, and after having the race cut short at New Orleans 70.3 back in April, I was double ready. At the expo I did athlete check in and I was through the roof with excitement. I had a big permanent smile on my face and saying hello to everyone and thanking all the volunteers. Bought my usual pint glass with the race logo, as well as a new hat, and some awesome hot pink compression sleeves. I was getting even more pumped up for the race, nothing could take me down off my high, until the pre-race briefing.......

The race director got up on stage, and said in a quiet, almost giggly sort of way, that the race has been changed to a modified olympic distance because of the heat index. I thought he was joking, PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE JOKING!!!!!! But he wasn't. Within seconds the atmosphere of the room changed, the smiles we gone, including mine. I felt like I had just been hit with a chair. All I could think was: not again, why is this happening again. I felt worse than I did when I got the news in New Orleans. All my goals for the race and my hopes and dreams left me, all gone. Many people just left the room. I was angry, and bummed.

After that we went to bike check in at the race site. I racked my bike and just left, wondering how many people were going to ditch the race at this point. Many people ditched New Orleans after the swim was canceled, bike shortened, and turned into a duathlon.

Race morning I tried my best to take everything in stride, but I was upset. The race was going to be a 1 mile swim, 30 mile bike, and 6.2 mile run, a 37.2. I was going to do the best of my ability on this course, just like in New Orleans, I just couldn't help but to be disappointed I made the trip and did all that training and not do a 70.3.

The swim. Lined up with my swim wave, and went off at the horn. I have been putting a lot of time and effort into my swimming. The water was a warm 88 degrees. I did great for the first half of the swim and was in a good rhythm, but by the halfway point the heat of the water was getting to me. My pace dropped off dramatically and it became a "just get to the shore" kind of swim. Finally made it to shore and looked down and my Garmin  and wasn't happy. Swim time was 40:15 including to long run up the hill to T1

T1 put on helmet, shoes, and race belt. Stuffed a Honey Stinger waffles in my tri top pocket. Decided to skip sunglasses since it was only 30 miles. T1 was 3:58

The bike. The bike was uneventful. It was 2 loops out in the country, and the last 8 miles back to transition through a more rural area.I drank a bike bottle full of water and a bike bottle full of Powerade. I didn't need to do a bottle exchange, it was enough. I ate the Honey Stinger waffle at mile 15. I kept up a decent cadence and speed on the bike course. Bike time was 1:24:24

T2 exchanged bike shoes for running shoes, taking the time to put socks on. Took helmet off, put on running hat, turned race belt around to the front, and headed for the run course. T2 time was 3:20

The run. For the first 3 miles, I was on track with the time I wanted to do the run in. After I crossed the timing mat at the halfway point, mentally everything crashed down on me. I started thinking about New Orleans, and how hard I trained for that race and it got altered, I started thinking about the months of heat training I had to do to prepare for this race. Just didn't seem fair. When I do Augusta 70.3 in September, it will be my second full 70.3 (hopefully) but my forth time paying for one. Muncie was to be my to make up for not getting a real 70.3 in New Orleans, and that chance was gone. My pace dropped off. At the mile 4 aid station I noticed my arms were dry and I was not sweating. I have been in the situation before and know I need to moisten myself to keep from overheating. I walked through the mile 4 aid station and dumped water all over myself, put ice in my hat and in my tri top. Started running and felt better and cooled off, I did the same thing at the mile 5 aid station to avoid a melt down before the finish line. Finally the finish line came into sight. Run time was 54:12.

Total race time was 3:06:09

After the race I got some ice cream, I wasn't feeling the pulled pork sandwiches and beans they were serving. Went to transition and packed it up. Headed back to Loraine's parent's house and hung out with them the rest of Saturday and Sunday. We left back home to Georgia Monday morning, and I was able to get back to training today like nothing happened.

I am bummed and disappointed this happened. I wanted a real race. I can't say whether this was a good decision or not, the heat does not bother me as much as other people, although I think the warm water swim affected me. They had to keep everyone, athletes and volunteers, safe, but I think they was a better way they could have handled the situation. To make up for it they have offered discount registration to a list of four 70.3 races, and a discount to next year's Muncie 70.3.

A Situation Where a Win isn't a Win

The following is about what took place on Wednesday and Friday and how I feel about it.

Last week, Monday through Friday, we celebrated Marne Week on Fort Stewart. Marne week celebrates the several war time victories of the 3rd Infantry Division. The division has a rich history and Marne Week commemorates that history. During Marne Week, several athletic competitions take place, both individual and team sports. In the initial descriptions of the events, only soldiers were allowed to compete in the events. Later on, about a week before Marne Week, it was put out that family member could compete in non-contact sports as long as their soldier was also doing the event. There was only one event Joel and I were interested in competing in, the triathlon, which was to take place on Wednesday morning.

We had a great time at the race. The officers of 4th Brigade, who are all avid triathletes did an awesome job of putting this race on. They even hired a timing company to get all the splits. It was a 350 meter swim, a 12 mile bike, and a 4 mile run. Great course and aid stations every half mile on the run. We were so impressed on how well they did putting on a triathlon for the first time. After the race they were not doing awards, those were to be done on Friday at the big awards ceremony for Marne Week, so we packed it up, picked up the girls from our good friend who had watched them for us, and went home.

Surprisingly, when we got home, Joel looked up the results on Event Tech's website and they were there. To my even bigger surprise, I WON! I think I stared at this for 5 minutes straight, I just couldn't believe it. My first overall win. The next evening, Joel and I had a date night, we went shopping out in Savannah and then a nice dinner at Outback Steakhouse. On the drive home Joel got a phone call telling him I was receiving an award the next day at the awards ceremony for winning the women's race. We needed to be at the parade field at 8 a.m. I was to receive a commander's coin at 8 a.m. and then my award from the division at 10 a.m. I was so incredibly excited.

We have been experiencing the high temperatures here in the South just like everyone else in the country, so it was going to be a hot day. Joel and I arrived at the parade field at 8 a.m. and nobody was there. He started making phones calls and nobody knew what was going on and nobody was tracking that I was receiving a commander's coin. So with that we waited around in the heat for about an hour and a half. We wandered over to the awards table to look at the hardware. They had 2 gorgeous triathlon medals. Gold, with swim bike run figures engraved in it with "first place triathlon" also engraved in it, with a vibrant white and blue striped ribbon, the division colors. A Lieutenant Colonel (LTC) found me around 9:30 a.m. and asked who I was. He had been looking for me.

The LTC congratulated me and told me I would be receiving an award from the Post Commander, who of course is a General. I would be receiving mine after all the soldiers received theirs. I just had to ask it, so I asked if I would be receiving one of those gorgeous medals, he said no. The reasoning, the budget for awards was meant for the soldiers, but he then went on to say "and well, you didn't raise your right hand". I stayed calm and informed him I actually have raised my right hand, and that I served for 5 years and did 2 tours in Iraq. I felt it was completely inappropriate for this man to assume I have never served in the military.He brushed it off and told me I would be receiving a certificate of achievement for winning the triathlon, and the woman who came in second, would be receiving the winner's medal.I was to sit with Joel on metal bleachers directly in the sun and wait. The stadium seating under the shade was for VIPS, not minions like us.

After being in the almost 100 degree heat for almost 3 hours I was feeling a bit loopy. When the winner's medal was given to the second place female I was sad, just plain sad. When my name was called to get my certificate, I walked up trying not to fall, I was very dizzy. After the ceremony Joel and I went back to the car and just sat with the AC on trying to cool off. I was very overheated. We looked at my certificate. It was a computer generated certificate signed by the General. Joel was upset for me. He knew how much an overall win meant to me and was disappointed this achievement was only commemorated with a piece of paper. We picked up the girls from our friend's house, I told my friend all about what happened, since she is also an Army veteran/wife she was also upset for me.

When we all got back home and settled in, Joel took my certificate to a trophy shop to have it made into a nice plaque. Something nice I can put on the wall the commemorate my big (to me) accomplishment. It will be ready sometimes this week. That was really sweet of him.

My personal feelings. I do not want to be whiny or derogatory, but I do not feel this is fair. If they were not willing to give awards to family members why did they invite them to do non-contact sports? Did they invite family members to compete as a joke? Did they figure there was no way any family member could beat a soldier in any event? The division is all about getting family members involved, but somehow this does not apply in sporting events? They are constantly giving wives flowers and plaques and such for working in FRGs (family readiness groups) but they cannot gives us the same when we compete against soldiers in sporting events? According to them, is "our place" working in the FRG and that's it?

Despite what happened, I am still proud of myself for my first overall win. I know I won, the results even say it, and that is something they cannot take away from me. I wanted to take until today to write about it so I could really reflect on the situation. The big picture is that it was just a race, and not my last race. My 2 beautiful little girls are healthy, and my marriage is also healthy. I have received tremendous support from my friends and I am grateful to have such people in my life. I hope next year during Marne Week, the Fort Stewart leadership will consider everything when planning the events and then decide if they want to invite family members to compete.

Muncie 70.3 is on Saturday, Loraine and I are leaving in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday. This is "A" race number one this year. A race number two will be Augusta 70.3. So, putting this situation behind me and moving on. Thanks for reading.